--Me and Meg

I think we all know a girl or two that got pregnant for all the wrong reasons.  Women that thought a baby would help re-connect her with her partner, “bring them closer together” and kak like that.  I always thought that notion sounded a bit off-side, but it wasn't until I had a relationship wrecker of my own (child) that I fully understood the magnitude of having a baby, and the metamorphosis your relationship goes through. 

 One night in particular stands out above all the other shitty sleepless nights.  I was sitting on the edge of our bed jamming cabbage leaves into my disgusting nursing bra when my husband walked in and asked "what are you doing”.  I began to cry and said: "who does this shit to save their marriage?" I couldn't stop thinking about the countless women out there who think a child could pull their relationship out of the shit-house.  Babies take over your life, how are you going to save a relationship, and look after a baby? The two are at opposing ends.  If you want a child and you think you can get your partner "to come around" by getting pregnant and having one, you're wrong. DO NOT DO THIS.  If you want to get your relationship back on track, or even see if it has a chance ask yourself the following:

Does no sex, cracked, ugly, massive nipples, a baby that cries at random (but more often at night), a big ass, a swishy stomach, pooh diapers, a generally bitchy attitude towards everything, no sleep, a bag lady approach to fashion (that is, big comfortable pants, your husband's t-shirts) sound appealing? sexy? Does this sound like the person you were in the beginning? (if yes, then you have got serious problems). The only thing you can take care of after a baby is a baby.  Next, your other children (if you have them), then maybe yourself, then perhaps the jack-ass who got you pregnant.

Like Dennis Quaid said in In Good Company, (on being in a perfect marriage) "you just pick the right one to be in the foxhole with....” There you go girls, if you've picked the wrong dude, move on. Do not decide to procreate with the arse.

Cheers, cheers

L & M