Me and Meg 
Dear Husband,

What a week you've had! My oh my. All that working-out has affected your brain I think.  It is that or you're just an all-out testicle.  I want to again (it's no trouble really, I like putting basic, fundamental, logical thoughts on paper for you) remind you that you have three girls. Our oldest daughter, let's call her Malone is four-and-a-half. You have been a father for that long.

Can you imagine my surprise then, as I'm out shopping for organizational items with Meg (the queen of clean) you call and ask, quite rudely I'll add, "what should Freya eat for dinner?" I realize you were at my mother's house and it would have been incredibly awkward to ask her for some food for her granddaughter.  Besides, how are you to even know what she could eat? Again, this is only your third time around, I understand how confusing that must have been for you. 

To clear things up, here is a list of some of her favourites:

Cheerios, goldfish, avo, cucumber, peaches, strawberries, cheese (she really likes this!), pasta (another winner-but you have to boil water, maybe forget this suggestion), yogurt (peel the lid off), toast with peanut butter, broccoli (cooked, again maybe a little advanced), and lastly canned salmon.

I think the next time I go out; I will forget my phone (like you do, that way we can avoid more of these stupid conversations). Also, when you ask me "what are you doing?” I will reply: "golfing".

Whew. I got a lot off my chest this morning.

Always your loving wife,