Me and Meg
I read an article the other day that touched on something that I’m quite fond of: writing about my own children. It got me thinking about what I write on my blog, and if I should edit myself. Isn’t it an invasion of their privacy? When should one draw the line? What should be left unsaid?
As a blogger I can not tell you how many times I have described my youngest in less than flattering terms. For the first eight months of her life I referred to her as an asshole, (just recently she turned over a new leaf and sleeps- at night) would I say it to her face? Yes. Will I tell her when she is older how she almost pulled me under? Yes. Will I let her read what I’ve written about her? Of course. If the criteria for, where to draw the line is bound to my honesty, then I pass.
I remember chatting to a mom at my eldest’s nursery school; she congratulated me on the birth of my third and asked how she was. I retorted, “She’s been acting like a real asshole”. She tried to mask her horror, but I could see it all over her face. I later blogged about it. Did I share too much, I’m sure to some reading I did. But it’s who I am. I was raised in a house where nothing was left unsaid. Will my daughter be offended? Possibly. But I’m hoping she finds the humour in my candor, and by the time she is old enough to read that I called her an asshole, she will know that more than anything else, she is loved immensely.
Each blogger has a flavour, a way they like to communicate. And let’s not forget no one is forced to read anything. For me, I feel that sharing how stupid I’ve been will give parents a little reprieve; maybe even allowing them to feel like they’re doing an ok job with their bandits. Candid, humourous, off the cuff narrative resonates with me. We could all share the funny, sweet, heart melting moments, but doesn’t that just spurn competition amongst us?
Of course, I have thought about the two biggest problems with writing about my children. First, I make money off writing about them, are they going to grow up and sue me? Secondly, when my advanced children run for Prime Minister, or become CEO of a Fortune 500 and they are asked about their child hood, or someone quotes something I wrote about them, they can tell the press that their mother’s a real asshole.
--Me and Meg
I think we all know a girl or two that got pregnant for all the wrong reasons. Women that thought a baby would help re-connect her with her partner, “bring them closer together” and kak like that. I always thought that notion sounded a bit off-side, but it wasn't until I had a relationship wrecker of my own (child) that I fully understood the magnitude of having a baby, and the metamorphosis your relationship goes through.
One night in particular stands out above all the other shitty sleepless nights. I was sitting on the edge of our bed jamming cabbage leaves into my disgusting nursing bra when my husband walked in and asked "what are you doing”. I began to cry and said: "who does this shit to save their marriage?" I couldn't stop thinking about the countless women out there who think a child could pull their relationship out of the shit-house. Babies take over your life, how are you going to save a relationship, and look after a baby? The two are at opposing ends. If you want a child and you think you can get your partner "to come around" by getting pregnant and having one, you're wrong. DO NOT DO THIS. If you want to get your relationship back on track, or even see if it has a chance ask yourself the following:
Does no sex, cracked, ugly, massive nipples, a baby that cries at random (but more often at night), a big ass, a swishy stomach, pooh diapers, a generally bitchy attitude towards everything, no sleep, a bag lady approach to fashion (that is, big comfortable pants, your husband's t-shirts) sound appealing? sexy? Does this sound like the person you were in the beginning? (if yes, then you have got serious problems). The only thing you can take care of after a baby is a baby. Next, your other children (if you have them), then maybe yourself, then perhaps the jack-ass who got you pregnant.
Like Dennis Quaid said in In Good Company, (on being in a perfect marriage) "you just pick the right one to be in the foxhole with....” There you go girls, if you've picked the wrong dude, move on. Do not decide to procreate with the arse.
L & M
Holiday Card Etiquette From the Pros
One Greetings Inc. wants to bring back the tradition of receiving holiday cards in the mailbox.
Akin to sipping hot cider by the fireplace and crunching through snowy fields to find the perfect tree, holiday cards bring a traditional sentiment to the holidays that can’t be achieved with an email greeting. One Greetings Inc., known for producing frame-worthy greeting cards for every occasion, shares ideas on how you can bring back a little tradition from yesteryear. After all, you can’t string emails across the fireplace. This year, put a little cheer in the mail, while keeping your social graces in mind.
“Holidays are a busy time for everybody,” said Amanda Greville, Founder of One Greetings. “We do our best to make it easy for our customers to send high-quality, personalized greeting cards to friends and family.”
*About One Greetings Inc. *
- Choose appropriate cards for the recipient. Keep in mind the receiver’s feelings and religious beliefs. If they don’t celebrate Christmas, or your sense of humour, keep it simple and appropriate.
- Don’t forget Uncle Brian. Keep a notebook, or computer document with an updated card list, including names of all family members and those who have sent you cards in the past. That way, you will never forget anyone.
- Signed, sealed and delivered… ON TIME. Prepare to send your cards before the end of November. That way, no matter how busy the post office is, you know your cards will arrive the first week of December, when everybody is getting into the holiday spirit. This frees you up for other tasks that need to get done. And, if you send a card to someone who hasn't sent you one, they have time to reciprocate.
- Good old-fashioned longhand says a lot. There is a reason why email started as a business tool; it doesn’t have that personal touch of your own handwriting. Show you’ve made the time and effort by writing your signature and addressing the envelope. If you have the time, including a personal note is always appreciated.
- Order a few extras. How many cards do you need? Consult your list, then add a few extras. You never know what friends you will meet along the way or who will send a card that you may not expect.
- Paper or PC? A holiday card is a way of reaching out to those you care about who’ve made an impact on your life this year. An eCard, which takes little effort, just doesn’t share a feeling of traditional winter cheer. Opt for a paper card; discovering a personalized card among the holiday bills is sure to put a smile on someone’s face. You can even order and customize personal cards at OneGreetings.ca.
- Include your return address. Your recipient may have a list too, including your address ensures that they have your current address every year and they can use it to send a card back to you.?
- For work or pleasure. Send holiday cards to business associates at their office, unless you also know them personally. It’s always nice to include a little note, but for business associates, hold off on the family photos. Depending on the business relationship a group photo of your staff is a nice touch.
One Greetings Inc. is Canada’s premier source for high quality,
personalized birth announcements, invitations, Christmas cards, photo cards and more. Greeting cards are professionally printed on a digital press using 14 pt cardstock. Cards can be purchased using an easy-to-use online ordering system that allows for personal text and photos to be added to any design.
For more information visitOneGreetings.ca.
Milwaukee's new anti-co-sleeping poster that says that co-sleeping is incredibly negligent and deadly. They have even illustrated this with a Butcher knife included!
The babies in the ads are all sleeping on their side and stomach, wearing disposable diapers with numerous sheets placed all around them to suggest that the entire situation is negligent on the parents behalf. The ads are set to put an end to co-sleeping and insult people who chose to do so. Truth is that the number of infant deth rates is much lower in co-sleepers than it is in a regular crib sleeping baby.
Regardless of the way you chose to put your baby to sleep, the truth is that there are a lot of rules to both types of parenting and it is up to the parent to use their personal discretion to make their family happy, don't your think?
This campaign is set to have a lot of hype in the next couple of months. What do you think of it? are you a co-sleeper, are you insulted by this display of advertisement?
Set to release on December 16th 2011, 'Chipwrecked' will definitely be the movie of the holiday season and a family favorite!
On vacation on cruise ship, Alvin, Simon, Theodore and the Chipettes are up to their usual antics, turning the ship into their personal playground, until they become 'chipwrecked' on a desert island. Tthe 'Munks and Chipettes do what they do best – sing, dance and wreak havoc. But they're in for a surprise when they embark on an island adventure with their new friend – a castaway who's more than a match for Alvin and the Chipmunks.
--Me and Meg
What up sugs? Meg here. I know you got a little snippet of who we are from our introduction last week. I thought it was important this week to get into it with you, for real. Here are some important things you need to know. We have a Manny (a male nanny). His name is Ross and he is our younger brother. He is great with kids and before he moved we called upon him often to help out. Now we have to book times and drive our kids to him-lame.
Another extremely significant event, my sister had her third daughter in October 2010, Freya. Freya is unlike any other child born into our family; she is out of her mind and has brought multiple adults to their knees. She is unpleasant to be around, always yelling and crying; generally speaking, very high maintenance. Yes I am referring to my niece. You would not think I am cold-hearted if you met her.
In the spring, with Freya being six months old, the Manny and I could not take it any longer. We decided Leigh must have downloaded a virus into her baby. You know when you mess around with a computer and just click on all sorts of links because you are trying to get to something? Inevitably, you end up downloading a virus. That is what Leigh had done to her precious baby.
Her bad mothering turned innocent little Freya into a crying baby that doesn’t sleep. Leigh was beyond exhausted so whenever she heard her child crying she just picked it up because she wanted it to stop (Leigh would argue she is just an attentive mother). Now Freya cries all the time, knowing her mother will be there in a second to pick her up. The long and the short of it is, the kid sucks. So the Manny and I took control, we tried to reboot her and download new software; it is not an easy process but clearly Leigh could not handle it.
What the Manny and I came to realize is that we were wasting our time; Freya is not the problem, simply a manifestation of all that is wrong with her mother. We abandoned rebooting Freya and have moved onto Leigh. Starting with half-day training sessions effective immediately and then proceeding to more advanced programs; think J.K. for parenting.
We don’t expect things to change over night; we will let you know how Leigh is progressing.
Great news Lil'sugar readers!! We have the privilage of working with two very talented and HILARIOUS women. Leigh and Meg will be entertaining our readers weekly with a snip-it of everyday life as mothers in the raw!!
Check out their intro---dare you not to laugh!
Hey lil-sugar readers,
We are Leigh and Meg from www.meandmeg.com.
We are sisters with six kids between us and love to dance aggressively anytime, any place.
Leigh, the older of the two, can be best described as a tropical storm, well, actually a hurricane is more like it. She has three lovely
daughters under four and everyone knows it. They constantly plot against her. She recently returned from hell thanks to her youngest. Leigh enjoys working out and having a nice glass of wine after, in fact, she is highly suspicious of moms who don’t need a libation here and there.
Meg, the younger more attractive sister, has two boys and a little girl, who has a boy’s name. She is fanatical about organizing, much to her sister’s dismay and her idea of eating well is day free from fast-food. Meg is convinced her husband is always trying to out-sick her and thinks Girl Guide cookies should be sold at the store.
Meg drives a white cargo van, which is totally dodgy, while Leigh drives an SUV – so much better. Needless to say when we go out we take Leigh’s car.
We started blogging in late 2009 and haven’t looked back. Just when we think life is going to get predictable one of our kids picks up a bag of hot dog kak at the park and we find ourselves in the thick of it once again. We look forward to sharing our stories with you and getting to know you better.
L. & M.